Hello from Mississippi!

11 Year Old 1 -- Two Illegal Aliens Breaking Into Her Home 0

2007-05-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

Err, the title should read like a score. Girl 1, Aliens 0.

I stumbled across this jewel while surfing. It's a story of two illegals and their plan to do only God-knows-what to an 11 year old girl, Patricia Harrington, who was home alone.

Two illegals broke into her home after her dad had left (wait -- this can not be true, remember all illegal aliens are hardworking law abiding citizens). After they smashed down her front door, they soon realized the tragedy of their mistake ... Patricia was a clay shooting champion since the age of 9 and her dad had a 12 gauge mossberg.

To read the rest of this feel good story, go here.

Dr. Sbano and His Cream Applicator

2007-04-30T12:53:00.000-07:00

Umm, yes I haven't blogged in forever. Maybe I'll start again. This story had to be blogged about though.

Dr. Fadi Sbano is a genius. I dare say he is smarter than Philip Winikoff.

Dr. Sbano is not a doctor. He just plays one around stupid women.

What did Dr. Sbano do? He met a schoolteacher from Haverfordwest (I think this is some place in England) who was afraid that she had contracted typhoid again. Dr. Sbano told the schoolteacher that he had was friends with a gynaecologist who had invented a cream to cure the typhoid.

Because the cream was invented by a gynaecologist, it had special requirements. The first requirement was that the cream not be applied directly to the rash. The second requirement was that the cream be administered to the vagina. A simple application to the exterior of the vagina is not enough though for this magical cream. Instead it is required that the cream be applied "to his penis and apply it inside her."

Yes that is correct. The cream required penal insertion.

The treatments went on for 9 months. Before the lady began to question the motives. Dr. Sbano was very tricky in his `clinical' treatments. Some of the `clinical' advice was received from his gynaecologist friend -- "When the insertions took place, and depending on the instructions of his friend, he would thrust slowly or quickly for anything from one to ten minutes".

I wonder if Dr. Sbano wasn't available if one of his friends would administer the treatment?

Read the real story here. So for all you single guys out there ... There is hope -- just pretend to be a doctor.

Programming and Expletives

2006-10-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

I saw this nice blog post about the occurence of profanity in source code. It is a nice break down of profanity per language and license. PHP takes the cake, but the gap between first and second may surprise you!

Click here to read more. Personally, I don't stick profanity in my source code. Often, I want to though :-).

Judge Koeltl - An Iron Fist Against Terrorism (not!)

2006-10-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

Judge Koeltl let Lynn Stewart off the hook with a sentence of only 28 months. The U.S. government was pushing for a 30 year sentence.

Lynn was tried and convicted of "providing material support to a terrorist conspiracy." However, her previous service to the poor, disadvantaged and unpopular gives her a free pass on supporting terrorists. Way to go Judge.

To recap, here is what we *KNOW* about Lynn.

Ahmed Abdel Sattar, her co-defendant *AND* paralegal *WAS* convicted for "conspiracy to kill or kidnap people in another country".
Ms. Stewart was caught on tape making, and bragging about making, covering noises to distract corrections officers while Mr. Yousry and the sheik communicated.
Ms. Stewart read a press release to a reporter indicating that the sheik was withdrawing his support for a "cease-fire" or cessation of attacks against the Egyptian government.

Now a bit of info about her paralegal, Ahmed Abdel Sattar.

Mr. Sattar was recorded on government surveillance tapes as plotting with a high-ranking militant in Islamic Group named Taha to resume the group's campaign against the Egyptian government.
Mr. Sattar admitted that he drafted a religious edict, or fatwa, in Sheik Abdel-Rahman's name calling for the murder of Jews around the world.

So, Ms. Stewart had a very close relationship with Mr. Sattar -- a convicted terrorist. She let the entire world know about a cessation of attacks against the Egyptian government. Plus she bragged about making `cover noises' for her terrorist buddies to speak.

For all this she gets 28 months. Luckily, Judge Koeltl had harsh words! Judge Keoltl said, "abused her position as a lawyer to gain access to Sheik Abdel-Rahman and used that access" to smuggle messages to terrorists.

Way to be tough on terrorism Judge K. Read more about this case here.

Between a Rock and a Boss

2006-08-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

Friend of mine calls me today and is shooting-the-bull with me for a bit. I ask if we're going to the gym today and he replies, "No. My wife is having a bad day and I made her mad."

Husbands making wives mad is nothing new. So I inquire about his wife's day. That's when he reminds me that she was called to court today as a "hostile witness."

His poor wife has been pulled into the middle of a divorce. The wife is a close friend of hers. Of course the husband is her boss. So in court today, she essentially had to make her boss look like an ass by answering `marriage' questions about him.

Poor lady, she didn't want to be drug into this tornado. Real `friends' would never drag you into this sewer. Of course this only reaffirms the old adage "there's no such thing as a friendly divorce."

Been to the moon and still kickin @#!

2006-06-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

Wow. Watch this.

Buzz is a new American hero of mine. I was never taken away by the mysticism of astronauts. But Buzz's solutions to **holes makes me smile.

You're Drunk And I'm A Rapist (in Wisconsin)

2006-06-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

Wisconsin, has recently passed a state law that allows really drunk women who have sex to claim they were raped. Male college students are left in shock, wondering how this could happen.

Game over guys. Someone actually had enough sense to say that women who are so drunk they can't walk are in no way capable of determining if they should have sex. They can't drive, so they can't hump, right?

What about the flip-side of that coin? I think that really drunk men who have sex with ugly women ought to be protected also. Sure, every guy wants a 10, but having five twos in one night doesn't add up to a ten. It adds up to an awful mistake.

Can guys be `raped'? If you're a drunk guy, you are suffering from the same impairments that a drunk woman would. Oh, sure, the woman just has to `lay there'. But odds are, `just laying' there is par for the course for her anyway. The only difference now is that she will regret laying there, later.

I hope to see a man having a fat woman prosecuted for taking advantage of him in his drunken state. Men have rights too.

Racism in Philadelphia Eatery ... Well No

2006-06-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

Geno's Steaks in Philadelphia is upsetting the local Hispanic population. One of the co-owners posted a sign that reads "This is America -- when ordering speak English."

Considering that English is the language of the United States, I do not think that is a tremendous request. If you take half a second to consider what language is for a country, you realize language unites people. If people aren't united, then we have "sub-communities" of Mexicans, Chinese, Italians, whatever... We don't have Americans, which is bad.

Racism! It's the nasty charge that can be volleyed against someone without any proof. I do not understand what is racist about the sign. But, here is what Roberto Santiago, executive director of Philadelphia's Council of Spanish Speaking Organizations, thought about the policy.

"I think what's coming out of his mouth is racist," said Santiago. "He is saying, 'I don't like these brown faces in my community and I will do everything I can to get them out of there.'"

Where did the sign say "I don't like brown faces?" The one I read said "This is America -- when ordering speak English." With racism, you don't need proof, just a silly emotion.

One of the owners stated that no one would "be refused service if they ordered one of the sliced beef-and-cheese sandwiches, a famed bit of cuisine in the Quaker-founded "City of Brotherly Love," in a language other than English."

So if people will still be served, how can they say it is racist? If it were truly racist, then the sign would read - "Brown skinned people will not be served." That sign is unequivocally racist.

Did he hear that?

2006-06-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

Last week I was on vacation in Pensacola. The vacation was a true family vacation. It included my family, mom, dad and sister.

Pensacola's beaches are beautiful. The water is emerald green and the sunlight produced a nice maze of light on the ocean floor. You know the way that swimming pool waves cause he sunlight to create a web of light on the floor of the pool? A similar effect is produced on Pensacola's ocean floor - it's really soothing.

Anyway, while on vacation, I was forced to go shopping. Drug from store to store, carrying bags of goods that weren't mine, or needed for that matter. An absolute dreadful waste of time is what shopping is. Except for my dad, who had a great experience shopping.

While wandering around some store, a couple of teenagers start walking by him. He did not pay them much attention, until around the second or third pass. This was when one of the teens ripped a ground-rumbling fart.

Well, the old man moves and the kids walk by again and rip another one. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees the kids snickering and realizes that the kids have a remote controlled "fart-machine." A remote controlled fart machine is a speaker that when activated via remote control, produces a fart sound. So, you shove the speaker in your pants pocket, and have someone activate the machine at an opportune time.

The kids keep hawking the old man. Walking by, ripping one here, ripping one there. The entire time he ignores them -- behaving as if he did not hear them.

Later that evening, the old man sits on a bench next to a senior citizen. While relaxing on the bench, he notices the two kids looking at him. So, without missing a beat, he begins to "sign" to the old man next to him. The senior citizen does not even notice the signing, but my dad notices the goofy looks on the kid's faces. A look that said, "we wasted 15 minutes farting by someone who can't even hear?!"

Russian Man Tests God -- And Fails

2006-06-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

Well, today's post is about a man from Kiev who tested God. He lowered himself into a lion's den at the Kiev zoo. Next, he took off his shoes and walked up to a lioness. Finally, he provided quite the show as the lioness "knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."

This poor russian kept shouting "'God will save me, if he exists." But demanding that God save you may not be the brightest of ideas. Luke 4:12 - Jesus answered, "It says: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"

I guess that is one more case of "knowledge is power." You can read the story here.

From the "Corporate America" Folder

2006-05-08T08:09:00.000-07:00

A colleague had problems accessing a new system that we are using here at the office. So, a bug-report was filed. The bug-report read something like this - "Could not access page ZZZ. A blank white page was returned in the browser."

A bit later, the colleague the filed the report receives a phone call about the bug. "Blah, blah, blah," -- it was the standard "describe what you were doing" dialogue. But the final question completely blew everyone away. Can you send me a screen-shot? The bug-filer was actually asked to submit a screen shot of a blank white page.

Wow. I love corporate America.

Play Dead

2006-05-05T10:37:00.000-07:00

Some people try to use `nature' as a way of arguing ethics ... "You shouldn't be homosexual because it is against nature."

There is a fallacy in this. Nature does not always conform to our expectations.

For instance, I recently heard of a spider - Pisaura mirabilis - or the non scientific name - "Nuptial gift giving spider", which behaves in a very non-human way. Male Pisaura mirabilis spiders are smaller than their female counterparts. The smaller size and the fact that the females like to eat the males makes it very hard for the species to continue via reproduction.

So, the male spiders, like male humans, are not daunted by this. In order to overcome adversity, they bring food to the females. After `giving' the food to the females they play dead. While the female is busy chowing down, the male "sneaks in" and takes care of business.

Obviously this is the polar opposite of how humans do it. Sure, in our world, the men give food to the women (sometimes referred to as a date). However, it is usually the female that plays dead during sex.

Are you abreast with the Miami scene?

2006-04-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

Some men are outside-the-box thinkers -- Einstein, Newton, Galileo, Edison. But we, we being men, have a new pioneer amongst us -- Philip Winikoff.

Philip has been mischaracterized. First, let me tell you what he was. Philip was an altruist. A champion among women. Despite not having a medical license, he was offering free breast exams to the women of Miami.

Philip visited an apartment complex in Miami, and went door to door, offering his services. Philip's heart was in the right place, but his lack of medical training caused a medical blunder that has been misconstrued as `sexual assault' by the powers that be.

Philip, not having medical experience, asked his first patient to completely disrobe. Obviously, Philip thought that a genital exam was typically performed with the breast exams. Furthermore, because he lacked medical training, he forgot to put on medical gloves.

Oh, I know. Women are barking right now -- "He's a pervert, He's sick, He's ...". No ladies, he is a saint. All he wanted to do was help, and you women turn him into some sex crazed pervert!

Honestly, why would someone want to give a genital exam to some women without gloves. If he's forgetful like me, he may forget to was his hands before lunch! Which would really screw up my lunch because taste is based on smell. And I don't want to taste that while eating a burger.

Let us all hope that justice prevails! If you're interested in reading about the case, click here.

A post for my reader

2006-03-29T07:29:00.000-08:00

Life is busy. But, the busy-ness of life seems to undulate. One month there is pretty much nothing going on. Next month, you don't have enough hours in the day.

With life's schedule lately, I've become one of those people that does not watch the news. I don't care for any of the political parties, and I think the U.S. Congress is a joke. I'm becoming more Twain-like as I age. Below is one of my favorite Twain quotes -

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of
Congress. But I repeat myself.

But I digress. This post is for my drunken reader who has longed for the wit that flows forth from my keyboard. First, I only have one reader, and I've explained to her the perils of drinking.

Man invented alcohol. And he invented it for one reason. To squelch the inhibitions of a prim and proper lady, hoping to turn her into a drunken girl of ill repute.

Ladies, make no doubt about it. Guys LOVE and I mean LOVE when the ladies start to put down the alcohol. It's great because there defenses aren't the only thing that come down.

Poor women, not only do the beer goggles make guys more attractive, but it also enhances our personality by an order of 1 or 2 magnitude. After enough alcohol, even I can deceive some woman into thinking I am prince charming.

However, wifey is the only one that I'd want to liquour up. And to top it off, I don't drink. Well, I like those fruity alcoholic drinks. But I don't want anyone thinking I'm a homosexual, so I don't drink them in public :D. Man, life just isn't fair, poor me 8D.

How To Impress A Man

2006-02-20T10:32:00.000-08:00

I found it hard to believe that such a guide existed. However, I have found one.

The original link to the article is here. I'm going to republish the article with my own notes.

1. Remember that men like women with confidence. If you like who you are, they'll like who you are.

No. Men like women with low self-esteem and daddy complexes. These woman are easy to manipulate AND need spankings.

2. Practice being independent. It takes a lot of the pressure off of men to know they don't have to take care of you.

This actually is a good idea. Here are a few independent lines: "No, I can pay for that." "Take off your pants." Either of those HIGHLY independent, and quite motivational lines, will score you points with the man of your dreams!


3.	Don't play dumb. If that's what it takes to impress a certain man, do you really want him?

Don't do this! Men don't want dumb women. We want easily manipulated women.

4. Dress well. Wear whatever you have on with your own style. Guys like those black seamed stockings and flashy high heels, sure, but you'll be more fun if you're comfortable.

Wow! This is stupid! Don't "dress well", "dress less." Slutty, I mean provocative, clothes that expose your pierced naval and `lower back tattoo' really place you on a pedestal in the man's mind. I know that when men see this, the first thing we think is, "Wow, she must be an engaging intellectual!"

5. Don't worry if you don't look like a supermodel. After all, you don't demand that the men in your life all look like movie stars, right? There are more important things. Give guys credit for knowing that.

Yeah, we don't want supermodel's. That's stupid. Plus after enough beer you will look like a super model!

6. Be engaging. A woman who is sitting with a bunch of men is intriguing. Those guys are sitting with her for a reason. Other men will want to know what it is.

That's right, any time I see a woman sitting with a bunch of men, I think -- "Hmm, intriguing." Never would I think, "Attention Hound" or "One guy ain't enough in the sack."

7. Notice what a man is wearing and compliment him. Men often go to a lot of trouble to look good, but rarely get as many compliments as women do.

Let me tell you ... When I pick out a pair of jeans and t-shirt, it's a painful process. Is the grey t-shirt the right shirt for this season. Should I wear the one that has a hole around the naval, or a hole around the clavicle?

8. Don't drink too much. Your inhibitions will be lowered and you might say or do things you wouldn't normally do.

Holy Crap! NEVER, EVER obey suggestion number 8. Guys love women who do and say things that `Proper' women don't say or do. Hell, most of us even have a midget friend and a monkey we can bring in, if you get drunk enough!

9. Be appreciative. Say thanks when it's appropriate. Smile when you say it. It means a lot.

Yeah, saying "thanks" goes a long way. "Thanks for getting me drunk and letting me hang out with your midget friend. What exactly happened, I can't recall?" To which the guy replies, "Don't worry about it, you'll soon discover what you did floating around on the internet."

10. Ask the man about his work, his hobbies, his interests. Listen carefully and ask questions.

Never ask a man about his work. You don't care and odds are you won't find it interesting. And for God's sake, don't ever ask him if he has `fantasies'. He does and you're not in them.

11. Find out what he's interested in. If you can hold your own in a discussion on baseball, stock cars or fishing, you're in.

This actually is a good suggestion. Ask him about midgets, drunken inhibitions and monkeys.

12. Be relaxed and easy to get along with. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable the people around you are. You might not be the only one who's nervous.

He may be nervous, but it's only because he's worried about his girlfriend catching him talking to you.

Bomb Pakistan?!

2006-02-14T13:04:00.000-08:00

God. I realized today, why I have steered clear of the news lately. Today I've read about atrocities that possibly could be without parallel in recorded human history.

Nutty Pakistani rioters SET A KFC on fire! WTH?!

First, has anyone noticed the important people? Bush, Cheney, Powell, Col Sanders?

Where is the American outrage? Surely, if people are burning American enterprises over cartoons that we have nothing to do with, then Americans should be burning Pakistani businesses! Wait, crap, we don't do that here. Sure, you have the occasional nut that burns things, but it's atypical.

Really, as far as I'm concerned `riots' are a way for people to steal. Everywhere people set things on fire, there are always people there walking away with free stuff. Or in the opposite extreme, wherever there is mass flooding, there are people walking away with stuff (read Katrina and New Orleans).

Well, let me get back to *not* reading the news!

I Love Bali Drug Laws

2006-02-14T12:50:00.000-08:00

Two Australian men were sentenced to "Death By Firing Squad" today in Bali! Are Bali drug laws draconian? I don't think so. Really, who is going to miss those drags on society?

More details about this triumph for justice, go here.

Drugs, gangs, all of the crap that erodes society can all be fixed. People just have to decide to. Honestly, if everyone in America said, "I'm sick of these *!@# drugs!" and started turning people in or even better, becoming vigilantes :), the drug and gang problem would go away.

Luckily, I live in a small community and don't have to worry about this BS.

My Three Hours Of Power

2006-02-10T10:26:00.000-08:00

It was funny. I was googling `scott siegler ancestor' and found my blog come up as the second link.

My power is never ending. People from all over the world are linking to me. I'm such an authority on Scott Sigler, that the omniscient oracle, Google, gave me as an answer!

I bragged to all my friends. Spouted off lines like, "If you need me to make or break your podcast, let me know about it and I'll blog it." Life was awesome!

Until... I visit a friend's cube and tell him - "Hey, did you know I'm a man of influence and power in the blogosphere?". "No." he replied, seemingly unimpressed.

"Damn you!" I think to myself. I command him, "Google `scott sigler ancestor'". He does and I'm not the second item returned by google!

Hmmm.. Then it hits me. The inescapable feeling of "you're not powerful, you're an ignorant jackass" crawls up my spine. In my blog, I had misspelled Sigler. I spelled it `Siegler'.

My bubble burst and my friend got a good laugh. *sigh*. It's probably better that I don't wield any power, I'm certain I'd only abuse it. :)

From the "Wasted Breath" Folder

2006-02-08T09:12:00.000-08:00

CNN Reports, "Bush Wants Muslim Protestors To Stop Violence". I'm going to pretend to be a prophet and prophetize -- They ain't gonna listen. So says me, the false prophet.

Sometimes you wonder why the President would even comment on it. It's probably safe to assume that all of the protestor's think that GW is the great satan. This idea is perpetuated because they could see his comments as an `attack'on Islam.

The `logic' for `attack on islam' is there, right? I assume that the radical protestor's believe that violence is justified by the Koran (sp?). Bush says,"Stop the violence." which is perpendicular to what the Koran tells them,hence Bush is the great satan.

Supposedly drawings of the Prophet are forbidden, because of the possibilityof idolatry. Now, excuse me while I go worship `the great provider', myfridge.

I Love Blondes!

2006-01-19T13:50:00.000-08:00

Don't tell my wife this. But they are just wonderful. This showed up in my email today. :)

From the "Katrina Aftermath" Folder

2006-01-18T08:04:00.000-08:00

Someone sent me the pictures above. These are post katrina t-shirts from New Orleans.

Everyday while traveling on I-55 south, which runs into New Orleans, I pass a FEMA truck pulling a camper. It is astounding that they are still pulling trailers south. It will be quite some time before this region of the country is anywhere close to back to normal.

I spoke with a friend who was in New Orleans recently. He explained to me that people are moving back into New Orleans. However, the poor parts of town are still empty. Odds are that the run down government housing that we all saw on TV will never be fully occupied again. Poor people can't afford to move back to New Orleans. And really, the poor people are probably better off in another city where they can *hopefully* find a job and break fee of poverty.

Hey Tammy!

2006-01-12T12:37:00.000-08:00

It's 4 p.m. and I'm headed out the door. I see Theresa as I'm walking out the door. She smiles and tells me, "Hey." For some reason, I draw a blank on her name. Desperate and on the spot, I reply, "Hey Tammy."

Immediately after the name left my lips, I realized what I had done. Because I was upset with my inability to recall her name, I told her 'Hey' in a very low voice. But I'm certain she heard me call her by the wrong name.

Really, this isn't a big deal. It's not as if I called her by the wrong name after an `intimate moment.' Hell, I hardly know her.

But, I like to be friendly to the people I work with. Blurting out the wrong name has hung in my mind for a bit. The next day, I found myself repeating her real name to myself on the way out the door. Playing parrot would hopefully allow me to recall her name the next time I see her.
What I'm hoping happens is I see her again, and tell her hello using the correct name. Maybe correct usage will make her think I just misspoke.

Please don't think I'm hung up over this person. I'm really only bothered by the embarassment of using the wrong name. *Bangs head on desk*. However, I've yet to catch her on my way out the door lately. So, the effect of calling her by the right name will be minimal at best.

From the "My Two Year Old Is Drunk" folder...

2005-12-30T10:30:00.000-08:00

Growing up, I had a good baby sitter. Mom and dad weren't rich so I didn't have a sitter in the `nicer' neighborhoods. My sitter lived in a `bad' part of town. But the kids there were just like me and we had a lot of fun together.

I can't seem to recall a time where my babysitter got me smashed. Maybe I should have had a babysitter from Patchogue, NY.

From this story:
The deputies noticed the 2-year-old was having difficulty standing, had bloodshot eyes, smelled of alcohol and was lethargic.

Damn my baby sitter was boring. My childhood had absolutely no corruption from adults. This lack of corruption is particularly sad when juxtaposed next to the teacher-student love affair. Some guys have all the luck.

The saddest thing about the teacher-student love affair is that those two jack-asses made a kid. And in the story, the slut of a teacher states - "I think we damaged each other in a lot of ways, I think mostly I damaged myself by making, what in retrospect, was such a poor decision."

What about your kid that won't have a dad. Way to go super-mom. The biggest victims are always forgotten about - the poor kids.

My Southern Accent

2005-12-28T11:29:00.000-08:00

We had a guest monk helping us in our GvG last night. Poor monk was not prepared for my southern accent. I'm from the south, but I don't speak like Jeff Foxworthy. As a matter of fact, I dare say my southern accent is very slight, perhaps nonexistent.

What our visitor expected is beyond me. I find my voice to be quite soothing, but I am self absorbed at times.

Why do people associate intelligence with one's voice? As silly as it may be, when I hear an English accent, I become enchanted and attribute the speaker with unearned intelligence points. I attribute these unearned intelligence points to the speaker's good English. That is, "American English" sounds very stupid. Broken phrases such as "Get this for free!" and "Due to inclement weather my flight was canceled" litter "American English" like junk food paper on our interstate system. When listening to the British use English, you don't hear these broken phrases. (Or maybe I just have not been exposed to enough Britts to hear that phrase).

Some of the 'Yank accents she found more amusing then others. So do I.

I've been musing over our visitor's perception of my accent. She sees American programming on her tele, so I assume she has associated bad things with the South. Which is too bad because it is her loss. For positive pictures about my favorite state click here. Because our visitor also visits this blog (sometimes she seems like the only one!) I'm sure she'll chime in. There is no trick in getting her to talk. The trick is getting her to shut up. :p

ICQ Bloatware

2005-12-26T21:25:00.000-08:00

If you use ICQ (I do - see sidebar to get my ICQ number), then you know it is a ad / resource hog. The other day, ICQ updated itself (or at least I don't recall doing it).

The latest ICQ update involved some BBC garbage. Get the latest BBC headlines right in ICQ! No thanks.

Things really went awry when ICQ ate up 128 megabytes of memory! Thats 1/4 of the memory on my laptop! Bad ICQ! Searching for a replacement, I came across Miranda. This little gem does ICQ/Jabber/AIM/Yahoo/IRC. It's an all in one package with no bloat. Very nice and highly recommended. No, you don't get the `cute' emote icons. But, I think you can with a plug in.

This post is actually from a draft that is about a week old. Anyway, stay away from ICQ.

Merry Guild Wars Christmas

2005-12-21T20:47:00.000-08:00

I, like most Americans (I assume), have been very busy with the Christmas holidays in the air. In order to prevent my blog from going stale (I will be off/on for quite a few days), I decided to post a picture of two of my favorite things Christmas and Guild Wars. If you're bored enough to have gotten this far, enjoy!

The scale of the characters is screwy. My tree is 10 feet tall, which puts the superimposed images at about 5.5 feet. Much shorther than I had imagined them...

Proof of American Soldiers Torturing Iraqis!

2005-12-16T11:04:00.000-08:00

I have proof of American soldiers torturing Iraqis! I've posted the pictures and captions below. It truly is a dark time for our country. Where is the American press during our darkest hour?!

(December 1, 2005) Maj. Kurt Anderson, from Company B, 448th Civil Affairs Battalion, 2nd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, presents a space heater to an Iraqi widow in Sadr City.

(November 23, 2005) Egyptian and U.S. Soldiers give clothes to needy Afghan children during a joint humanitarian aid mission at Bagram, Afghanistan.

(November 23, 2005) Egyptian and U.S. Soldiers give clothes to needy Afghan children during a joint humanitarian aid mission at Bagram, Afghanistan.

(December 1, 2005) Iraqi troops and a U.S. Soldier from the 327th Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division, conduct a joint patrol in the village of Hechel.

Cpl. Maria C. Diaz, from the 1st Force Service Support Group disbursing office, holds an Iraqi baby during a visit to Al Kabani, Iraq, June 26, 2004. Diaz accompanied Marines from 3rd Battalion, 24th Marine Regiment, who visited the village to check on the progress of a $175,000 water purification complex the unit contracted to have built. The complex will bring clean drinking water to nearly 3,000 Iraqis from Al Kabani and another nearby community. The battalion has made regular visits to Al Kabani to deliver donated shoes, school supplies and toys to the children of the village. Elements of the battalion provide security for nearby Camp Taqaddum. Diaz, 23, is from Los Angeles.

November 29, 2005) Pfc. Crystal Jiminez, from the 490th Civil Affairs Battalion, 155th Brigade Combat Team, gives a snack to a shy Iraqi child in Haswah.

(September 1, 2005) 1LT Micah D. Taylor of the Mannheim, Germany-based 18th Military Police Brigade, receives a kiss of thanks from a girl at the Iskandariyah school. Taylor was part of the humanitarian mission to provide the children with school supplies. Soldiers receive the supplies from an organization called Operation Iraqi Children, through which Americans donate book bags, school supplies, and toys.

Najoy, Afghanistan (Apr. 22, 2004) - U.S. Navy Dental Technician 3rd Class Ernest Deant, shows Afghan children how to properly care for their teeth and gums during a Coalition medical/dental civil affairs project in the village of Najoy, Afghanistan. Participating in the one-day humanitarian mission were medical specialists assigned to the 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit (Special Operations Capable), the U.S. Army's 10th and 25th Infantry Divisions, and the Romanian Army, who provided security for the mission in support of Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF).

(December 12, 2005) Capt. Robert Duchaine, Company B commander, 1st Squadron, 71st Cavalry Regiment, distributes toys to kindergarteners in a school in western Baghdad. Iraqi forces from the 6th Iraqi Army Division also participated in the visit with the U.S. Soldiers.

(October 19, 2005) A Soldier from the 448th Civil Affairs Battalion, 7th Cavalry Regiment jots down the measurements of a child's feet for a new pair of shoes at the Al Nafees Primary School in the al Kafajyeh suburb of Baghdad.

(August 30, 2005) Maj. Roger Alsup, a Missouri National Guardsman from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and principal of T.S. Hill Middle School in Dexter, Mo., distributes school supplies to Iraqi children in Fallujah. The supplies were donated by students and faculty at Alsup's middle school.

(November 19, 2004) Sgt. Rick Abner gives coloring books to Iraqi school children in Hawija. Abner is a tactical psychological team chief from the 350th Psychological Operations Company, attached to 1st Battalion, 27th Infantry Regiment, 25th Infantry Division.

(July 15, 2005) Capt. Jacqueline Naylor, a family practice physician from the 173rd Support Battalion, successfully delivers a premature baby in a hospital at Lashkar Gah, Afghanistan.

Paint Me A Birmingham

2005-12-15T13:00:00.000-08:00

I think that is a counry music title...

The carpooler and I had to attend an `MSDN launch event' in Birmingham, AL. It was a fun-filled trip involving beer, steak, liberty and bitchy waitresses.

For the duration of this blog entry, I'll address the carpooler as `78'. You'll discover why shortly.
78 and I arrived at Tuscalooga, Alabama around 8:00 p.m. Hungry and tired we find an Outback Steak House, located just off the interstate. 8:05 we're placing our orders. Both of us go with a 16oz prime rib. 78 takes his medium. I eat mine like a man, so I order it medium-rare.

I order water, 78 orders a bottle of Coors. Now, 78 is not a big drinker. He used to be back `in his youth', which was quite some time ago for him.

He sets the course for the night after taking his first sip. Immediately after the first sip, he, seemingly not of his own accord, blurts out, "Man that is good!".

After slapping down the first bottle, he orders Coors on tap. The next beer comes out in a 22oz mug (see picture below). Morgan, our perky waitress brings it out with a smile.

About 5 minutes later, 78 has topped off the first mug. Unwilling to limit his pleasure, 78 orders another one.

While sipping on the second one, our steaks come out. 1 pound of beef. Yumm! About half way through the steak, 78 orders another 22 ouncer. This puts us at three. I mention, "Damn thats your third one!" His reply, "No this is my second!"

At this point, the jokes were at the bottom of the barrel. You know, the kind you share with close friends and no one else! We're getting progressively louder and drunker (well 78 anyways).

Morgan brings the third beer out. 78 asks her, "How many of these have I had?" She responds three, without a smile. Her sense of humor having been eroded by the unrelenting jubilation emminating from our booth. Torwards the end of the night, our noise level was drowning out the din of the restaurant crowd.

Morgan's demeanor had went from somewhat perky to downright bitchy. I think it enraged her even more when we left her a big tip. I think 78 drank 78 total ounces of beer, not sure how many were in that first bottle...

Now, we head over to Birmingham to find our hotel. 78 and I are discussing the room we're sharing when I mention, "Man I need some lotion." At that point, I realize that was a dumb statement to blurt out without any preceding context. He looks at me blankly and says, "I'm sleeping in the car!"

I explain to 78 that my elbows get dry in the winter. That is why I needed the lotion. Luckily the hotel room had lotion. If it had not, I would have had dry elbows. There is no way in hell, I'm going down to the desk to ask for some lotion! (Think two guys in a room, neither one of them looking like `lotion users')

78 and I attend the event and head home at 5:00 p.m. The drive out of Birmingham is awful. Traffic everywhere and extremely congested interstates.

We decide to stop at Liberty Parkway. This is a section of Birmingham that has a miniature statue of liberty. I have pictures below.

It was quite moving to stand beneath a symbol of liberty. The light of liberty burning brightly in her right hand, the sound of the American flag flapping in the wind ... freedom just seemed to hang in the air.

I've posted pictures of lady liberty below. One of them actually has `78' in it. I juxtaposed him next to the statue, hoping to illustrate the magnitude of the monument.

One of many for the carpooler

Still bloody... Yum!

The flames of freedom

Get an idea of how large this mini-statue is?

The Prince of Pleasure

2005-12-14T09:12:00.000-08:00

While you may think I am about to blog for myself, you're wrong. This is snippet about an article I just read on the inet.

Lust, betrayal and an oedipus complex all in about 8 or 9 short paragraphs. The story is about a frenchy code-named 'The Prince of Pleasure' who starts an `online' affair with the girl of his dreams. Eventually, the affair turned into an "I want to meet you in person" event.

That is where things go so wrong. The Prince of Pleasure discovered that the girl of his dreams was really his Mom!

Read the story here, then come back to view my comments.

I can't help but think what went through this guy's mind. Wow, I'm about to have a romantic interlude with the woman of my dreams. At this point, I'm sure he is aroused (recall he had seen a pic of his dream girl :)).

Then he sees her standing alone on the beach... He approaches her -- all the typical male thoughts going through his mind...

She turns around. He's staring at his mom while brandishing an erection. Wow.

I don't think I could raise the flag for quite some time after that.

Why are me feet cold and wet?

2005-12-11T16:43:00.000-08:00

Saturday after working out, I plopped down on the couch and started flipping through Tivo's "Now Playing List." I start watching Family Guy until my stomach interrupts the episode. The grumblings of my tummy were a reminder that I hadn't had much to eat since breakfast.

I stumble into the kitchen looking for the raisins. "Where are those raisins?" I wonder. That query was quickly replaced by "Are my feet wet?" I look down and notice that water is covering the ENTIRE kitchen floor. Not only is the entire kitchen floor covered, but the water has creeped down the hall torwards the garage and pantry. Not only were my feet wet, they were incredibly cold. The water covering the floor was very cold, almost as if it were refrigerated.

"Where is the plumbing leak?" I wonder. I first check under the kitchen sink expecting to see a cabinet floor full of water. Hmm. That is dry.

Well, maybe the ice-maker hose behind the fridge is busted. That sounds really stupid. Maybe, the water in the `cooling-compartment' of the fridge has froze, busting the plastic container. The `cooling-compartment' is a plastic `staging' area for water after it has been filtered. The idea is that water is stored there, so that when it is dispensed by the refrigerator it will be cold and crisp.

Inspection of the `cooling-compartment' reveals no damage. Well damn. I don't really want to pull the refrigerator out of its cabinet to check the hoses. For some reason or another, I decide to look in the freezer. Our refrigerator is a bit different from most. It's a kenmore elite, which has a pull-out freezer drawer that comprises the bottom third of the refrigerator. I yank open the freezer drawer and hear a big splash. The ice drawer is full of water.

Apparently the ice maker malfunctioned and started `dumping' ice that wasn't frozen. Well, non frozen ice is water ;). The water overflowed out of the freezer and onto the floor. I have pictures of the fiasco below.

I turned the icemaker back on and it seems to be working. However, I'll always be weary of that contraption. Luckily our floors are concrete (scored and stained), so no damage really occurred.

No, those aren't shiny-clean floors!

After this mess, I wanna crack open the wine cooler and start drinking.

Nice thing about concrete floors is I can use a shop-vac to clean up messes!

Wifey ensared me ... again!

2005-12-08T08:34:00.000-08:00

I was going through my evening cool-down ritual yesterday: Eat dinner and beat my wife at Wheel of Fortune.

All was going as planned, I had solved a puzzle here and there. I don't keep score, but I think I was up by 1. (Well, maybe I do keep score!)

Wifey asks me if I'll be taking vacation during the holidays. I reply, "No. I think I will go ahead and cash the days in." Where I work, you're allowed to either `roll-over' your unused vacation days or get paid for them.

Wifey: What are you going to do with that money?
Me: I don't know, I was thinking about upgrading my computer.
Wifey: Didn't you do that this year?
Me: Yeah, but I need a new video card. Mine is showing its age.
Wifey: You spent a big chunk of last year's bonus on that computer.
Me: Really? I didn't think it was *that* much.
Wifey: It was. Do you realize that when you get a large sum of money you never buy me anything.

At this point in the conversation, my mind began to race. What would my clever riposte be? Did I have one? And how would she parry it?!

Me: Umm. Uhh.

I begin to think... But you're a woman, you nickel-and-dime us to death! While you slowly bleed us, I go wild and gash us every now and then... But that wouldn't work here... What do I say...

Me: I don't always do that!

At this point I'm marveling at my debating ineptitude. This is going to be bad.

Wifey: Yes you do. [ She proceeds to enumberate the instances of self-spending. ]
Wifey: And don't dare buy me anything now. I'll think you did it because of this conversation.

Ahhh ha! I'll do what all desperate men do when they've been ensnared by the cunning wife -- I lie!

Me: How do you know I was not going to buy anything? Maybe I had planned on buying you something.
Wifey: You're lieing.
Me: How do you know?
Wifey: Your lips are moving.

At this point Wheel of Fortune comes back on and the conversation goes away. However, the hamster wheel is turning in my head. How in the hell did she trick me into this? Usually converstion survival is my forte. But today, I conceded to wifey. But I'm still getting that upgrade :p.

From the "Offensive Jokes" folder

2005-12-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

Well, this one isn't too offensive, really...

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, recently moved to Texas. Ray has always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope."

Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different now??"

Bessie looks up and says, "Ray, what's different? Its hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday; it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Ray yells," AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat."

From the "Dumb games to play on the internet" folder

2005-12-05T10:13:00.000-08:00

"Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer"

I scored 9/10. This bothers me on some level, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

It means I'm able to identify both nerds and serial killers. Hmmm... I wonder what is going on inside that little head of mine...

+1 For the good guys...

2005-12-04T00:34:00.000-08:00

Because wifey let me fall asleep on the couch, I am wide awake at 2:30 a.m. So, I start perusing the web and discover a number of interesting news bits:

1) Poll: Confidence in Terror War Jumps

Rasmussen poll finds that "Confidence that the U.S. will ultimately prevail has jumped dramatically, up 9 points in the last six weeks, reports Rasmussen." It's up to 48%. What is alarming, however, is that 28% of the poll respondents think the terrorists will win.

2) Officials: CIA missile strike kills al-Qaida No. 3

w00t! Oh yeah, you can run but you can't hide you sons of bitches. I'd love to fly one of those predator drone planes...

3) A picture of life under Bin Laden's Constitution

Some sneak peaks at what the benevolent dictator Osama would be like:

No Alcohol
No Gambling
No pictures of women in news papers or advertisements

No pictures of women? That stinks, as I have remarked here.

Anyone read any good poetry lately?

Mississippi has the most beautiful women

2005-12-02T12:50:00.000-08:00

I've always thought this. For some reason a lot of the ladies down here are very pretty. Why? I don't have the foggiest idea.

Can I `prove' that we have the prettiest women? Well no. But there is some emperical data. The value of the below data is definitely up for debate.

The format of the lists below is:

state - winners : population - percent of population that is Mrs. America.

Top Three Mrs. America Producing States
California - 6 : 35,893,799 - 0.00001672
Ohio - 6 : 11,353,140 - 0.0000005285
Pennsylvania - 5 : 12,281,054 - 0.00004071

Top Three Mrs. America Producing States Relative to Their Population
District Of Columbia - 2 : 572,059 - 0.00034961
Hawaii - 2 : 1,211,537 - 0.00016508
Mississippi - 4 : 2,844,658 - 0.00014061

One more reason to live in the south I suppose. Of course Mississippi doesn't have the highest number relative to population, but that obviously is an anomaly in the data ;-).

Don't forget to sign the guest book. I have one visitor and they aren't even American!

I Like Pinup Girls

2005-12-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

I was watching a tivo'd episode of Mail Call (Ultimate Man Show). Mail Call covered an array of topics from medieval archers to World War 2 flight jackets (A-2). Everyone recognizes the flight jackets because their style and elegance has lasted through the decades.

R Lee Ermey made a remark about how the old pilots used to decorate their flight jackets. Some guys would adorn the backs of their jackets with their squadron's name. Others would emblazen their jackets with pinup girls. Unfortunately, pinup girls are no longer allowed on the back of flight jackets. And the question now, is "Why?"

Are women offended by pinup girls? Is admiring beauty a bad thing? WTH decided that pretty girls are bad? And WTH made the executive decision that pretty girls are stick thin?

I am speculating that ugly feminist made pinup girls a bad thing. I've always assumed that most feminist were ugly women. I `image-googled' feminist and found this. You decide :).

None of my friends like the 'i eat carrots and broccoli for breakfast, lunch and dinner' look that seems to be the fad. Sure, no one wants a woman that munches on bon-bons and hamhocks. There is a happy median between those two extremes.

This reminds me of an acquiantance who made the comment, "How would you like it if people were staring at you when you bent over to get something?" Well, I guess it would not bother me. Thats a tough problem to have for a lady, to be sure -- "I'm a pretty girl and thats unfair." Heh, tough life, no?

I like pinup girls myself - especially when next to an American muscle car. Pretty women are great. However, don't read that and think I'm gawking at women. I don't. In the spirit of pretty women, I present some olympians of interest!

Iberia Pilots Almost Killed Me (back in 2000)

2005-12-01T19:05:00.000-08:00

I don't know why this crossed my mind, but I thought of the flight that made wifey declare, "Once we're back in America, I'll never get on another plane."

The family and I flew to Spain in the summer of 2000. I'm Spanish so I have a lot of uncles, aunts and cousins in that yellow country. Anyway, we caught an Iberia jet (don't remember plane type - it was BIG) in Chicago and flew to Madrid. The flight from the states to Spain was uneventful and painfully boring. 3 seats in coach with my kid sprawled out asleep on me and my wife.

We spend a week in Spain in the coastal town of Chipiona. Sigh, I can still smell the Mediterranean...

But I digress and meander... We catch a plane from some small town in southern Spain to Madrid. I was immediately at ease because the plane had about 7-8 service men. It was unbelievably gratifying to be able to understand the conversations that were going on around me.

Nice clean take off... We begin our approach in Madrid. We happen to have wing seats so I'm looking out over the wing as we descend. I see the horizon and notice that the tip of the wing is dancing up and down over the horizon. That is the plane is yawing left and right.

Hmm, the pilots surely know what they're doing. I'm sure this will straighten out before we touch down. Look out the window again... The wing tips are rising and falling over and under the horizon. Not good, because I can see the city. We can't be more than 500 feet above the ground.

Uh oh. The damned wings are still bobbing. We're about to la... "Boom!" We hit the tarmac with exceptional force. Next, the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling! Unlike television, these oxygen masks didn't lazily fall from the ceiling. These oxygen masks shout out violently from their caves at the top of the cabin.

At this point I realize that my palms are sweating and my heart is pounding at my rib cage. Each pound a reminder that I'm still alive - Yay me.

The plane coasted to a stop. Not a word was said by anyone. As soon as we got off the plane, my wife gave me her remark that has held true for 5 years -- "Once we're back in America, I'll never get on another plane."

Where y'all from?

2005-12-01T12:03:00.000-08:00

Too lazy to post. Don't know what to say? My points are so succinct and flawless, you're lost for words. If so, then at least leave a hello on my frappr. frappr is a `pin-up' map. You type in your zipcode, and a spot shows up on the map. No Personal info is required.

Thanks!

http://www.frappr.com/pythonpoetsblog

Did I do that as a kid?

2005-11-30T10:26:00.000-08:00

Wifey calls me yesterday, with the words I hate to hear, "Do you know what your kids did?" A number of self-preservation alarms go off. First, I note that she has given me sole ownership of the children (doh!). Second, she is asking me a rhetorical question for which I happen to know the answer.

"No, what?" I replied. "Courtney (the 6 year old) has drawn chalk lines all over the floor for Tabby (the 3 year old) to ride her bike over!" she exclaims.

Our house has scored concrete floors and an open floor plan. So, the kiddies can actually ride their bike through the house. Probably not very safe, but who cares. Crash and burn is part of the learning process.

I did dumb things as a kid, but I never drew highway lines through out the house. Of course by the time I get home the lines are gone, so no pictures :(.

Number 999

2005-11-29T12:48:00.000-08:00

Today the U.S. executed criminal number 999. And if we're lucky we'll hit number 1,000 as early as Wednesday! However, 1,000 may not be so guilty. Lets hope Justice is served.

Number 999, John Hicks, was executed for strangling his mother-in-law and smothering his 5 year old step daughter by covering her mouth and nose with ducktape. All of this occured while under the influence of cocaine.

I wish I could have pulled the switch myself. Good riddance.

From the "Podcasts worth listening to" folder

2005-11-29T07:59:00.000-08:00

If you like science fiction, you *have* to check out Scott Siegler's Ancestor. It's a story about a biotech firm that is genetically engineering animals whose organs can transplanted to humans. The idea is that enough genetic tweaking will prevent the organs from being rejected.

In order to pull this feat off, the scientists use DNA from `the ancestor'. The ancestor is supposedly a cuddly little creature that we all descended from. Because we all descend from the ancestor, we ought not reject organs that contain its DNA. You can only imagine what happens after the first animal is created. (I haven't got past chapter 5, so don't ask me :p)

Another podcast that I really enjoy is The History According To Bob. If you love history, you have to check this one out. The fidelity isn't the best, but the content is.

If you have any interesting podcasts, please post them.

Soulmates - poppycock!

2005-11-27T08:26:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me if I believed in "Soul Mates". "Soul Mates" are lovers who were predestined to be together. That is their unity was inevitable. This inevitability means that they were `made' for one another.

I used to believe in the "Soul Mates" idea. The more I muse over this idea, the less confidence I have in it. Fate is out, Wyrd is in.

Instead of wild dreams and false hopes, I believe in free will. If we don't have choices, then we're nothing more than biological algorithms. Biological algorithms being my euphamism for `determinism'. While Wyrd does not exactly imply free will, it does express the idea that people forge their destiny.

One of the things I don't quite grok about Christianity is that christians have free will. However, God has a plan. This is a paradox. If God has a plan, then our fate is determined. Maybe I need to ask a pastor about this.

Doh, what a tangent. The indelible thought of free will simply won't allow the `Soul Mates' idea to pass. Unless I can be convinced that "Soul Mates" does not imply destiny, then "Soul Mates" simply isn't true.

From the "Tragic Historical Figures" Folder

2005-11-23T18:07:00.000-08:00

I've been reading about the Punic Wars lately. Well, reading and watching historical documentaries. The first Punic War has produced what I consider oneof the most tragic of all historical figures - Hamilcar Barca.

The first Punic War was a war between Carthage and Rome from 264 to 241 BC. The conflict was called the "Punic War" because Rome's name for Carthaginians was Punici.

In a nutshell, the war started over control of Sicily. Sicily was hometo the Mamertines and was under attack by Hiero II. The Mamertines requested aid from both Carthage and Rome simultaneously.

Carthage responded to the Mamertines pleas first. Supposedly, the Romans became worried about Carthage's spread of power torwards the Italian penninsula. Rome reacts to this worry by forming an alliance with the Mamertines. Eventually this lead to Rome and Carthage struggling over control of Sicily.

Rome had significant successes over Carthage during the first Punic War. A simplified vertical timeline for the war looks like this (it is not complete -I'm not a historian!)

262BC - Battle of Agrigentum - Rome takes Sicilian city Agrigentum.
256BC - Battle of Cape Ecnomus - Rome wins a large naval battle off the southerncoast of Sicily.
256BC - Battle Of Adys - Rome wins and sues for peace. Romes conditions forpeace were too much for the Carthegenians to bare, so they decide to continuethe fight.
~256BC - Carthage hires Xanthippus (Greek or Spartan mercenary). He trains theCarthegenian army.
256BC - Battle of Tunis. Xanthippus leads the Carthegenians to victory over theRomans.
~249BC - Hamilcar Barca sent to Sicily by Carthage. Hamilcar takes control ofmost of inland Sicily. Hamilcar remained undefeated in Sicily.
241BC - Battle of the Aegates Islands. Decisive Roman battle that put an end tothe first Punic War.

After Rome defeated Carthage, Hamilcar became worried about the Cartheginian wayof life. He knew that once a society submitted to Roman law they were assimilated. Hamilcar feared losing the Cartheginian way oflife.

Being an extreme patriot, Hamilcar traveled to Hispania in 236BC to found a new base for him to build his military might. The plan was to build an army inSpain, hopefully hidden from Roman eyes (at least for a bit), and invade Italy, waging war against the hated Romans. With the Romans out of the picture, Carthage was free to continue being Carthage.

Before Hamilcar was able to exact his revenge on Rome, he was killed by Spanish rebels in 228BC. Before his death, Hamilcar had his son Hannibal make a vow to never be a friend to Rome. Supposedly Hannibal replies, ""I swear so soon asage will permit...I will use fire and steel to arrest the destiny of Rome."

In 219 BC Hannibal invaded Saguntum, a Roman protected city in Spain. This started the Second Punic Wars.

Hannibal was so successful at fighting the Romans that they eventually stopped fighting him. Instead of engaging him, they would use Fabian Tactics.

Fabian tactics are essential `harrasment' of the enemy, but keeping him at bay.
Quintus Fabius Maximus created Fabian Tactics. However, he never won a major victory over Hannibal, so the Roman senate removed him from command. His successor lead Rome to their biggest defeat in history at the Battle of Cannae.

At the Battle of Cannae the Romans brought:

75,000 heavy infantry
20,000 light infantry
5,000 cavalry

Hannibal brought:

30,000 heavy infantry
6,000 light infantry
8,000 cavalry

Approximately 50-60 thousand Romans died. Hannibal lost 16,700 men. One of the effects of this loss was Rome in total chaos. This put the `fear of Hannibal' intoevery Roman's mind. He became the ubiquitous `boogey-man' of the Romans.

Eventually Hannibal is defeated in Africa by Scipio Africanus. The last page in Carthage's history is Scipio's grand son, Scipio Aemilianus, attacking Carthage. The hatred forCarthage and the Barca family name is so intense that the entire city is razed. Roman soldiers went from house to house, slaughtering the people of Carthage and enslaving any who survived.

So, Hamilcar Barca's quest for maintaining the Carthegenian way of life actually ends up being the reason of Carthage's ultimate destruction. Thats tragic.

From the "Offensive Email Jokes Folder"

2005-11-22T12:41:00.000-08:00

I get a lot of junk in my email at the office. Some of the junk includes funny pictures and not so funny jokes. However, the joke below really had me chuckling. Warning - you may find this offensive.

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad,what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father thought for moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?! "

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then wentback to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on Three Million Dollars..............but Realistically,......... we're living with two sluts and a queer."

Good bye Skipper

2005-11-22T10:25:00.000-08:00

An annual tradition for me and some of the guys in the office is to head to Biloxi for deep-sea fishing. Show up at Biloxi Friday night, drink, eat, be merry. Wake up early in the A.M., hop on a boat and drop lines by the oil rigs. Well, Biloxi was destroyed by Katrina.

A friend of mine sent me a picture of the marina that harbored "The Skipper", the boat we used to fish on. I've posted the pictures below of the marina, or rather what is left of it. Notice the casket in one of the pictures. You really have no idea of the devestation unless you've witnessed it first hand.

Our last trip was actually on the Gabriella. I hope they got her out in time.

Here's to good times...

Sell Your Organs Today

2005-11-22T05:38:00.000-08:00

I normally ignore spam, but this one had a funny title - Sell Your Organs Today

I'm interested, so I read. Turns out this guy didn't want my organs, he wanted my kid's lungs. And if I wasn't interested in selling their lungs, he would take kiddy porn. I've pasted the mail below and highlighted it yellow.

Hello there,
If you want to make some good cash selling some XXX horny pics of your children or sell their lungs reply to this email and get a check overnight.
You will receive cashiers check to get cash right away.

Besides the disturbed feeling I experienced after reading the spam, a thought did cross my mind. Why is it illegal for me to sell my organs? What if I wanted to sell a kidney. I believe that kidney transplants are in the most demand. I have two kidneys, I ought to be able to sell one of them if I choose.

It is not unusual to live life with one kidney. It ought to be my choice, as to whether or not I sell my kidneys. Moving kidneys to the open market would certainly lessen the demand to some extent. Would it be the end of kidney waiting lists, well no. But it would help.

Lan Party!

2005-11-21T07:50:00.000-08:00

Taking a break from political discourse on the blog, I had a lan party. What's a lan party? A lan party is where some friends bringtheir PC's over and you pwn them in deathmatch. Well, pwning them indeathmatch isn't a necessity, but is usually the end result.

I've taken some pictures of interesting things. First, one of theguys who attended actually had a car tag that read `PWNAGE'. Nice:). Second, is a nice tank-top that was on display - "You've been pwned." Finally a group shot of the guys who attended.

Overall the day was exciting, lots of food, lots of laughs and plentyof pwnage. We played UT04, Serious Sam - The Second Encounter andFEAR.

In the group picture below, the guy with the `cocked' head below is one of the pwned. He suffers from `pwned-too-muchius', which occurs when you get pwned repeatedly.

Think there is a market for these?

Man, I missed my chance at this tag!

The pwner and the pwned!

Job Offer in Japan

2005-11-18T10:30:00.000-08:00

One of the commenters mentioned having an affinity for Japan. I got this nice email that involved Japan:

I am looking to hire a Sr. Python Developer ASAP- This is for work we are currently doing in Tokyo, JPN. The position can be contract (preferred) or direct hire (if the fit is great) - Expenses are paid for. Contract duration would be around 5 months (no benefits) - Are you interested? You must be able to work in Tokyo for the duration of the project.If you are, please send me your resume/rate and let's chat ASAP.

Well, I'm from Mississippi and have NO desire to leave. I just thought this offer was interesting. Nice thing about being in Japan though, is that i'd be really tall.

I remember hearing stories about the Japanese obsession with height. That they used to break their legs intentionally, because when the bones repaired themselves, they would lengthen just a bit. The idea is that you break your legs repeatedly in order to grow over time.

About WMD Intelligence

2005-11-18T10:08:00.000-08:00

I really do not want to turn this into a political ranting blog. Those are boring. But, with all the talk about WMDs and lieing presidents, I thought this report would be interesting to some of y'all.

The aforementioned report is an inverview with Bill Tierney, an inspector for the United Nations Special Commission (UNSCOM) for overseeing the elimination of weapons of mass destruction and ballistic missiles in Iraq. Let me bullet a couple of interesting things he said.

UNSCOM could pursue a lead and approach an inspection target from various angles to cut off an escape route, but at some point, the Iraqis would hold up their guns and keep us out.
There was no question that Iraq had triggering mechanisms for a nuke, the question was whether they had enriched enough uranium.
A local technician stood by while we opened a computer and found a flight simulation for a missile taking off from the Iraqi desert in the same area used during the First Gulf War and flying west towards Israel.
After seventeen resolutions pleading with the Iraqis to be nice, the light bulb still didn’t go off that the entire concept is fundamentally flawed.
Maybe the problem was giving a mission that entailed the possible use of force to an organization with the goal of eliminating the use of force

Interesting read. Enjoy!

Pictures that make me proud

2005-11-17T18:51:00.000-08:00

Below are pictures that make me swell with American pride. God bless the USA.

Time Magazine got something right...

Thanks guys!

Thanks for making a sacrifice.

Don't even think about burning this.

From The "Jobs I'd Like To Have Folder"

2005-11-17T07:41:00.000-08:00

One thing that all men have in common (ahhem real men), is that we love power equipment: Dozers, Back-hoes, Track-hoes, dump trucks, etc. If it moves earth, we love it.

Stuck in traffic yesterday, I saw my dream job - "Destroying buildings with a track-hoe." This job has everything a man could want - solitude, destruction, heavy equipment and whatever music you'd like to destroy things to.

Thinking about how great it would be to have the track-hoe operator's job steered my thoughts into another direction - cool jobs for a guy to have. I've listed some of the jobs that all men would love to have, in no particluar order.

* Blue Angels Pilot
* Jet Fighter Pilot
* Special Forces
* The President :)
* Nascar Driver
* Astronaut
* Bulldozer Operator

I'm sure I can dream up more, but that's the first-in-three-minutes list. I took a picture of the track-hoe destroying a building. I also got a picture of geese in our parking lot. Not sure what relevance the latter picture has, but it was just odd seeing geese in our parking lot.

Hope you enjoy!

Pride - Good / Bad / Ugly?

2005-11-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

A friend from New Zealand commented to me that she did not like Americans. Which was striking to me because I'm an American. I was not born in the states, but became naturalized at 18. When I was naturalized it was really a means to an end. I needed a way to get a passport easily. In retrospect, I find my naturalization to be one of the finest moments in my life -- I love America.

Back to the friend. She made an extremely uncharacteristic remark (or perhaps I think too much of her), "Americans suck...". She's made jabs at America before, but I typically take them in stride. But everyone has an envelope, and she had certainly pushed beyond it.

In a slow, calm-yourself down, measured typing pace, I ask her to please refrain from insulting America. Next, I query her, "Why?" She replied that "she did not know." She stated that she fealt that Americans were arrogant and proud. I asked her why she thought this, and she wasn't quite sure. Well, I can't debate a feeling, so the conversation became stagnant.

I mentioned to her that I did not think that pride was a bad trait. The first instance of acceptable pride that comes to my mind, is the pride you have after you have accomplished something in your life. For instance, when I graduated from the University of Southern Mississippi, I was very proud. It was quite an accomplishment considering my family's blue collar roots. (Dad drives a truck - Mom is a desk jockey for a corporation [but not quite white-collar].)

The friend mentioned that she believed pride to be a bad characteristic. I have two opinions about pride being bad.

Opinion one is that unreasonable or inordinate pride is certainly a bad trait. This is inline with Plato's belief in moderation. Moderation is a good thing, however I believe that everyone should dream big or not at all. So, I certainly agree that an extreme amount of pride is bad. +1 for her argument.

Opinion two is that she believes people should not be proud, because those who have not accomplished will be offended. For instance, I should not be openly proud of my college degree because someone who has not graduated from college will feel inferior or offended. Opinion two really bothers me.

Too much effort is spent in America to NOT offend people. Euphamisms such as obese and overweight are used in place of fat. Why is fat offensive? Probably because it usually demonstrates a lack of discipline. As a matter of fact, this is usually the case. Please don't throw the `thyroid disorder' excuse at me. It is estimated that less than 1% of the population suffers from obesity because of thyroid problems.

Ok, everyone tread lightly in the states and don't offend your fat friends ;).

Peering into the male mind -- Male Bonding

2005-11-15T13:33:00.000-08:00

I told a lady the other day that the more fond one man is of another the more apt he is to insult his friend. For instance, yesterday while playing Guild Wars, I mentioned to some of the members in our guild that one of the members was a woman. He's not.

I tell that buddy of mine this over lunch. He calls me an ass, and we have a good laugh. That is friendship.

Now, compare and contrast this to someone for which you are not fond. You would never call this person an ass, but you would certainly think it.

So, a sneak-peak into male-bonding tells everyone that the more guys like each other, the `meaner' they are to one another.

*nix Fortunes

2005-11-15T10:38:00.000-08:00

If any of y'all have ever used `fortune' on a linux/unix/*nix machine, you've probably cracked more than a smile or two reading the `fortunes.' Today I thought I'd share one with you that actually made me lol.

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers
in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and
was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy
fog, so the Captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported,
"Light, bearing on the starboard bow."
"Is it steady or moving astern?" the Captain called out.
Lookout replied, "Steady, Captain," which meant we were on a dangerous
collision course with that ship.
The Captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on
a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees."
Back came a signal "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees."
In reply, the Captain said, "Send: I'm a Captain, change course 20
degrees!"
"I'm a seaman second class," came the reply, "You had better change
course 20 degrees."
By that time, the Captain was furious. He spit out, "Send: I'm a
battleship, change course 20 degrees."
Back came the flashing light: "I'm a lighthouse!"
We changed course.
-- The Naval Institute's "Proceedings"

1/15th of the way there

2005-11-15T07:57:00.000-08:00

November marks the first full year of paying the mortgage. The mortgate is still a strange feeling for me. I still have strong memories of my youth -- the road trip to tampa where dookie slept drunk on a bus-stop bench. The trips to Cash's in Ft. Walton Beach Florida -- home of the wet t-shirt contest that involved neither a t-shirt nor water.

But, here I am, 31 and with a mortgage. The word mortgage seems to reek of you're an adult now and your youth is gone. And to think I still have 14 more years to go. (Actually the plan is to pay the house off faster than that ;).

Well, here's to youth wasted! To celebrate my squandered youth and my 1/15th of the way there milestone, I've posted some pictures of the house. Enjoy!

These pictures are before and after snapshots of the living room.

This is the kitchen. My favorite place in the house!

Finally, the front of the house. These pictures are `right after construction'.

Learning to Fly

2005-11-14T17:11:00.000-08:00

It's Saturday afternoon and I'm hoeing the flowerbeds. My brother-in-law, Kevin, shows up with his newest toy - a remote control airplane.

Kevin's Plane Particulars:

Electric Powered
36"-42" wingspan (guesstimate)
36" long.

Kevin is beaming with pride as he showcases his new toy. Kevin tells me, "Come on, lets fly it." Sounds like a good idea to me, so we head out to the front yard. Kevin makes a couple of circles in the yard and asks, "How would you like to fly it?"

That sly smile creeps onto my face. And before I have time to ponder the question, I blurt out, "Yeah!"

So, Kevin gives me the basics and explains to me about his failures and how I should expect the same disastrous results. My ego says, "Yeah whatever. You just didn't know what in the hell you're doing." Unfortunately, my brain wasn't there to reply, "Neither do you."

So, I grab the remote control and start flying. Amazingly I make a nice slow loop around the yard (I have a *very* big yard -- think field). I'm prepared to turn the plane back torwards myself and Kevin.

Out of thin air, a small red, horned creature wielding a pitch fork appears on my shoulder. Before I have time to swat him away, he uses my mouth to say, "Kevin run."

At this point, I'm part of the nefarious plan -- Hit Kevin with his own plane! Excited, I begin to yaw the plane right. Hmm, my bearings are off, I need to yaw right, hard. With "Highway to the Danger Zone" playing in my mind, I yaw right hard!

Unfortnately, the hard turn has caused the plane to begin a dive. A STEEP FAST dive. The plane is headed directly torward the ground. There is no recovery.

Bam. The plane runs into the ground. It is perpendicular to the ground when it hits. That is the fuselage and the ground form a 90 degree angle.

Unfortunately, Kevin's plane wasn't engineered to handle this kind of stress. The right wing snapped off upon impact. I went from a "I'm maverick, kevin is goose" feeling to "I'm goose and I just died".

After a good laugh, Kevin said forget about it and was able to glue his wing back into place. Anyway, you can witness the devestation yourself. See the picture below.

Ipod Ship Has Landed

2005-11-12T22:34:00.000-08:00

OK, the free ipod has made it. Check out the picture below. This is the 30gb video-ipod. Sweet stuff. Now if I can only figure out how to rip a dvd to my ipod...

Your Tax Dollars At Work

2005-11-09T10:06:00.000-08:00

A stumbled across an article describing what your congressman are doing with their "member representational account (MRAs), which pays the salaries of 18 full-time aides, travel, mass mailings, leased cars, bottled water, coffee and everything else a modern office needs."

Without further ado, lets examine your tax dollars at work:

David Dreier (R-Calif.) - Over $5700 for plasma television.
David Dreier (R-Calif.) - $1,338 on new rugs
Mark Souder (R-Ind.) - Over $5700 for plasma television.
John Murtha (D-Pa.) - Over $5700 for plasma television.

Well, there is even a congressman that uses his MRA account to purchase TiVO, so he can record himself. See the article for the gritty details.

Rhapsody is pretty slick

2005-11-03T18:17:00.000-08:00

In my quest for a free ipod. I signed up for Rhapsody.

I originally thought, "I'll sign up, wait for my offer to be approved, and cancel." However, I'm enjoying Rhapsody's content so much that I won't be cancelling my subscription.

Rhapsody allows you to search for music by artist or title. And they have a huge selection. There have only been a few titles I could not find. Most notably Creed.

I hate to sound like a fan-boy, but you ought to try this service. It's amazing.

Happy Belated Halloween

2005-11-01T12:49:00.000-08:00

I've been somewhat busy with Halloween and the various fall activies. I dressed up as the scariest thing my little brain could conjure up ... The Congressman.

The picture of me and my littlest one are to the left. Overall, Halloween turned out to be a pretty good event. Because it was on a Monday, not many houses were lit up. Plus, our little town is boring at times. Or maybe it was because Halloween is considered `bad' by some folks down here.

Yes, I actually ran into one of those Halloween is for Satan people. Let me set the stage - Home Depot on a Saturday afternoon. Wifey and I rolled into home depot to grab some left over `hurricane food' that was drastically reduced (I hope I avoid food poisoning). I see an old friend I hadn't seen in some time. My friend had his boy with him. His child was around 3 years old. The boy was very excited and explaining to me about his love of Spiderman and Batman:

Boy: I love Spiderman and Batman! [Strikes superhero pose]
Me: Really? Thats cool, me too. Will you be dressing up as one of them for Halloween.
Boy: No, Halloween is bad.
Me: Oh.
Boy: Do ya'll do Halloween?
Me: Well, sometimes. Maybe not this year because it is during the week. [White lie to prevent `rubbing boys face in it']
Boy: Yeah, God doesn't like people who do Halloween. Me: Ummm. Ok. Anyway, I hope I haven't angered God this year! The sign hanging from the neck reads:

CONGRESSMAN
____________
(fill in the blank)

Compassion, Contracts and Common Sense

2005-10-18T07:52:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer - I work for an insurance company.

Why the disclaimer? Because I'll be blogging about insurace companies, their policy contracts and common sense. Some of what I write will seem impersonal and lacking of compassion. However, most contracts are impersonal and lacking compassion.

The rage du jour around the coast right now is to force insurance companies to pay for claims that are not covered by the insured's policy. The Mississippi attorney general has filed a lawsuit about this.

According to Mr. Hood, the insurance companies took advantage of the policy holders. He claims that the `wording' of the policy contracts was confusing. Well, most legal documents are a tad confusing. However, our homeowner application clearly states that flood is not covered by that policy.

The next question is why would insurance companies want to trick people into not buying flood insurance? The government provides flood insurance, NOT insurance companies.

While I empathize with the people who have lost their homes, it certainly is not the insurance company's fault that they did not buy flood policies. While some will contend they were told they didn't need it, it is still their decision.

People need to take resposibility for their own actions or lack of actions.

Those Evil Three Little Pigs

2005-10-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

Once again, the evil pigs had to be removed from somewhere in England because they may be offensive to Muslims. If you're 7 or over you have access to pig stories. Anything beneath that is a no-no.

This isn't the first time that pigs have been found offensive in England. I wrote about this before.

Gone to eat a bacon sandwich...

COP Guild is COED

2005-10-08T07:41:00.000-07:00

OK, I spend way too much time playing Guild Wars. Our modest guild was started by four friends who wanted a `club.'

After 4-5 months of are small guild, we decided to grow the guild. The problem with growing your guild is that most everyone is a n00b. Noob (pronounced: newb) is a label given to people that are new to something. It is often used as a pejorative when your performance is less than stellar.

So I have been recruiting lately. The yield has been mostly positive. But what has amazed me is that we have picked up 2 girls. 1/8 of our guild is occupied by ladies.

My wife despises computers in general, so I was stunned when I learned that we had recruited 2 girls. Which makes me wonder how many GW players are women. A bigger bonus is that the players are actually pretty good.

Accidental Mormon Porn

2005-10-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

The Mormon film "Sons of Provo" accidentally had "Adored: Diary of a Porn Star." Which was a film about a porn star that reconnects with his family.

I am not certain what Sons of Provo is about, but I believe it is supposed to be a mormon family film. That had to be a great night in front of the mormon television.

See the article here.

Offensive Pigs

2005-10-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in England, pigs were removed from offices at Dudley Council. The removal of the offensive pigs was caused because of their possible offensiveness to Muslim workers.

I'm glad I'm not offended by much. A Jewish guy works in our office, I wonder if he'd get mad if I ate a bacon sandwich in front of him? Political Correctness always brings a smile to my face. :)

View the story here.

Stupid Nicknames

2005-09-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows someone with a nickname. The latest nickname that comes to mind is Tom "The Hammer" DeLay. While nicknames may be cool, sometimes there not.

For instance, if you allegedly kill someone and your nickname is Scuz then your nickname may not be cool. For Demetrius "Scuz" Fiorentino, it isn't cool. Well, Fiorentino's lawyer claims it isn't cool. The vampire is so worried about his client's nickname he is asking the judge to bar any references to it during the murder trial.

Fiorentino's council seems to think the moniker has negative connotations. Hmm, you don't say?

More information can be found here.

America's Next Top Monkey

2005-09-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

My wife is watching UPN's "America's Next Top Model."

Vanity, BS, and the token homosexual to boot. I don't have much to say about this except that I am embarassed my wife Tivo's this show.

There just isn't much to watch on T.V. I can't wait for this week's episode of Lost, though.
Check it out. Sorry, I have to run. One of these young ladies is about to have her hopes bashed!

China garbage

2005-09-27T07:54:00.000-07:00

My wife always gives me crap when I *attempt* not to buy garbage from China. For those that don't know China is a repressive communist government. Below is a laundry list of things that China has done to it's populace:

Before you buy chinese, think twice. This almost guarantees that you will not be able to shop at the dollar tree. It also means that 70 percent of all items in Wal-Mart are off limits to you too.

Think twice before buying that Chinese garbage.

Red Cross Blunder

2005-09-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

Last week in Lincoln County, MS the Red Cross was giving away money to anyone who would get in line. The people of Lincoln County aren't in that great of a need. The storm knocked out the electricity around here and that was about it.

We do have some senior citizens that need assistance because they don't have the money to get trees yanked out of their yards. However, most everyone in Lincoln county still have a job.

As I understand it, there are NO forms to fill out. You simply show an ID and get money. This is pathetic. I feel sorry for anyone who donated to the Red Cross.

To give you an example of how rampant this abuse is, let me tell you what I heard through the local grape-vine. A friend metions that someone "just came back from their Vegas vacation" and collected about $1000 from the Red Cross. There you have it -- someone from Lincoln County *just* came back from vegas and got a $1000 check from the Red Cross.

Bush Gone Fishin

2005-09-13T13:16:00.000-07:00

Because Bush is responsible for everything from the climate changes that caused Katrina to black people being poor, I thought he deserved a fishing break. :D

Fallen Trees

2005-09-13T07:56:00.000-07:00

I mentioned posting pictures of the fallen trees. Here they are.

Doctor allegedly killing patients in New Orleans

2005-09-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

I read a really sad story about a doctor that killed her patients with overdoses of morphine. Instead of letting the thugs get her patients, she killed them herself. Her patients weren't estimated to have much longer to live. It's a really sad ordeal for her and her patients.

Not many looters around Pascagoula, MS

2005-09-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

We're not having a problem with looters around our coastal area. Maybe this is why. The sign above was seen around the Pascagoula neighborhood.

Katrina's effect on Brookhaven, MS

2005-08-31T20:38:00.000-07:00

I live in a small town called Brookhaven (mapquest link). This town is about 130 miles north of New Orleans.

Interstate 55 which was part of the hurricane evacuation route was north-bound on both lanes until it reached Brookhaven. People have flooded into Brookhaven, seeking shelter from Katrina.

Brookhaven received approximately 70+ mph winds. This is a gross estimation, I can't say with any certainty how fast or slow the winds were going.

What I can say is that we lost about 8 big oak trees in our front yard. When oak trees fall because of bad weather, they usually just `fall over.' Imagine a big oak tree laying completely on its side. Now imagine the earth that covers the roots being perpendicular to the trunk and to the ground. You've just imagined what a fallen oak looks like. I'll post pictures tomorrow.

Strangely, we didn't lose any pines. A pine tree's root system is a `tap root' system. The root system essentially drills straight down into the earth, providing a strong anchor into the earth. When a pine falls because of weather, it almost always snaps the trunk becaues the root system is so firmly entrenched in the earth.

I'll post pictures tomorrow.

The spirit of the PEP

2005-08-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

You hear a lot of people talking about the spirit of a law. It is a situation where a law is somewhat broad and requires interpretation.

Sometimes this happens in the programming world -- when it shouldn't. Yesterday I bugged a coworker into adding a feature to a console app of ours. The request was for an application to display a text status bar as it processed. It should have been along these lines:

[**** ] 45%

Asteriks give you a nice visual queue as to how complete the process is. The trailing percentage gives you an actual percentage of how much of the file has been processed. My coworker calls me today and yelps, "Eureka! I've discovered a use for generators."

A big question mark immediately floated over my head. Why would he use a generator? Generators are for yielding values. To yield the percentage of completion for our application, all he had to do was divide the number of bytes read by the number of bytes processed:

bytes_read / bytes_processed

Perturbed, I asked him how he used the generator. He responds, "I pass it the file object and it draws the status bar." I ask him if he knows what a generator should be used for. Apparently there is some confusion. I've never found a use for them myself. But, the classic example is for generating Fibonacci numbers :

def fib():
    a, b = 0, 1
    while 1:
        yield b
        a, b = b, a+b

The PEP even states that "the same kind of approach applies to many producer/consumer functions." After a bit of mental wrestling, he finally capitulated. He disclosed that he thought "it was cool" to do it that way. But really doing things the wrong way is never cool.

Gmail talk is out

2005-08-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, google has released its own chat client. From what little bit I gleamed this morning, it uses the Jabber protocol and allows you to literally talk to other people if you have a microphone. Check it out now.

Tommy Lee Goes to College and I Throw Up

2005-08-23T19:40:00.000-07:00

Reality TV. Who the hell watches this? I came home today, and clicked on the tube to check my Tivo. Before I got to my program listings, I noticed ex-porn start Tommy Lee on the tube. However, Tommy was juxtapositioned next to someone with a college logo on their shirt.

Tommy Lee and college are two things that shouldn't be mixed. Or at the very least seem as though they can't be mixed. I clicked `guide' on the Tivo remote to discover that this was yet another reality TV show.

The first thing that crossed my mind when I saw Tommy Lee in the college setting was, "I wonder what he scored on his ACT or SAT?" I don't think they ever mentioned his scores, or even if he had taken the college entrance exams. It is entirely plausible that he can't even spell ACT or SAT.

Reality, yeah I'm in college without taking any entrance exams. That's about as real as a flambouyant homosexual beating out an ex-navy seal at a Survivor type competition. Sheesh.

Humble beginnings and replacing humans

2005-08-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

This is the first post ever from pycoder. Just like the rest of my life, it's humble in beginning, arrogant and egotistical at the end :D.

What do I do? I'm a programmer. I mostly do Python, second mostly do c/c++.

Recently one of my programming duties has been to gather statistics on our `print.' In my little universe, print is generated and sent to the mail machine to be processed. I'm responsible for the programming aspect of processing the mail and generating the print.

Generating the print is great. We use and old console program to generate our print. The thing is so old that it only accepts 8.3 filenames! But, it works quickly and overall really well.

Anyway, back to processing mail. I've discovered that management is contemplating outsourcing the handling of print. This is discouraging because I have a nice system for handling this print. Really, software comes and goes, so watching it sail away won't be too bad. However, I'm worried about the people who work in the mailroom.

I don't believe that the people in the mailroom will be fired, but God only knows where they'll be moved to. I was told to be *quite* about this project, so I can't tell anyone at work. I've befriended the mailroom people because of my involvement with the mail-machine. It's an awkward feeling knowing that your providing data that could possibly have your friends canned. Even worse is that I see them everyday and usually smile and make small-talk.