Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Did he hear that?

Last week I was on vacation in Pensacola. The vacation was a true family vacation. It included my family, mom, dad and sister.

Pensacola's beaches are beautiful. The water is emerald green and the sunlight produced a nice maze of light on the ocean floor. You know the way that swimming pool waves cause he sunlight to create a web of light on the floor of the pool? A similar effect is produced on Pensacola's ocean floor - it's really soothing.

Anyway, while on vacation, I was forced to go shopping. Drug from store to store, carrying bags of goods that weren't mine, or needed for that matter. An absolute dreadful waste of time is what shopping is. Except for my dad, who had a great experience shopping.

While wandering around some store, a couple of teenagers start walking by him. He did not pay them much attention, until around the second or third pass. This was when one of the teens ripped a ground-rumbling fart.

Well, the old man moves and the kids walk by again and rip another one. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees the kids snickering and realizes that the kids have a remote controlled "fart-machine." A remote controlled fart machine is a speaker that when activated via remote control, produces a fart sound. So, you shove the speaker in your pants pocket, and have someone activate the machine at an opportune time.

The kids keep hawking the old man. Walking by, ripping one here, ripping one there. The entire time he ignores them -- behaving as if he did not hear them.

Later that evening, the old man sits on a bench next to a senior citizen. While relaxing on the bench, he notices the two kids looking at him. So, without missing a beat, he begins to "sign" to the old man next to him. The senior citizen does not even notice the signing, but my dad notices the goofy looks on the kid's faces. A look that said, "we wasted 15 minutes farting by someone who can't even hear?!"

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