Did I do that as a kid?

Wifey calls me yesterday, with the words I hate to hear, "Do you know what your kids did?" A number of self-preservation alarms go off. First, I note that she has given me sole ownership of the children (doh!). Second, she is asking me a rhetorical question for which I happen to know the answer.

"No, what?" I replied. "Courtney (the 6 year old) has drawn chalk lines all over the floor for Tabby (the 3 year old) to ride her bike over!" she exclaims.

Our house has scored concrete floors and an open floor plan. So, the kiddies can actually ride their bike through the house. Probably not very safe, but who cares. Crash and burn is part of the learning process.

I did dumb things as a kid, but I never drew highway lines through out the house. Of course by the time I get home the lines are gone, so no pictures :(.

Number 999

Today the U.S. executed criminal number 999. And if we're lucky we'll hit number 1,000 as early as Wednesday! However, 1,000 may not be so guilty. Lets hope Justice is served.

Number 999, John Hicks, was executed for strangling his mother-in-law and smothering his 5 year old step daughter by covering her mouth and nose with ducktape. All of this occured while under the influence of cocaine.

I wish I could have pulled the switch myself. Good riddance.

From the "Podcasts worth listening to" folder

If you like science fiction, you *have* to check out Scott Siegler's Ancestor. It's a story about a biotech firm that is genetically engineering animals whose organs can transplanted to humans. The idea is that enough genetic tweaking will prevent the organs from being rejected.

In order to pull this feat off, the scientists use DNA from `the ancestor'. The ancestor is supposedly a cuddly little creature that we all descended from. Because we all descend from the ancestor, we ought not reject organs that contain its DNA. You can only imagine what happens after the first animal is created. (I haven't got past chapter 5, so don't ask me :p)

Another podcast that I really enjoy is The History According To Bob. If you love history, you have to check this one out. The fidelity isn't the best, but the content is.

If you have any interesting podcasts, please post them.

Soulmates - poppycock!

Someone asked me if I believed in "Soul Mates". "Soul Mates" are lovers who were predestined to be together. That is their unity was inevitable. This inevitability means that they were `made' for one another.

I used to believe in the "Soul Mates" idea. The more I muse over this idea, the less confidence I have in it. Fate is out, Wyrd is in.

Instead of wild dreams and false hopes, I believe in free will. If we don't have choices, then we're nothing more than biological algorithms. Biological algorithms being my euphamism for `determinism'. While Wyrd does not exactly imply free will, it does express the idea that people forge their destiny.

One of the things I don't quite grok about Christianity is that christians have free will. However, God has a plan. This is a paradox. If God has a plan, then our fate is determined. Maybe I need to ask a pastor about this.

Doh, what a tangent. The indelible thought of free will simply won't allow the `Soul Mates' idea to pass. Unless I can be convinced that "Soul Mates" does not imply destiny, then "Soul Mates" simply isn't true.

From the "Tragic Historical Figures" Folder

I've been reading about the Punic Wars lately. Well, reading and watching historical documentaries. The first Punic War has produced what I consider oneof the most tragic of all historical figures - Hamilcar Barca.

The first Punic War was a war between Carthage and Rome from 264 to 241 BC. The conflict was called the "Punic War" because Rome's name for Carthaginians was Punici.

In a nutshell, the war started over control of Sicily. Sicily was hometo the Mamertines and was under attack by Hiero II. The Mamertines requested aid from both Carthage and Rome simultaneously.

Carthage responded to the Mamertines pleas first. Supposedly, the Romans became worried about Carthage's spread of power torwards the Italian penninsula. Rome reacts to this worry by forming an alliance with the Mamertines. Eventually this lead to Rome and Carthage struggling over control of Sicily.

Rome had significant successes over Carthage during the first Punic War. A simplified vertical timeline for the war looks like this (it is not complete -I'm not a historian!)

• 262BC - Battle of Agrigentum - Rome takes Sicilian city Agrigentum.
  
• 256BC - Battle of Cape Ecnomus - Rome wins a large naval battle off the southerncoast of Sicily.
  
• 256BC - Battle Of Adys - Rome wins and sues for peace. Romes conditions forpeace were too much for the Carthegenians to bare, so they decide to continuethe fight.
  
• ~256BC - Carthage hires Xanthippus (Greek or Spartan mercenary). He trains theCarthegenian army.
  
• 256BC - Battle of Tunis. Xanthippus leads the Carthegenians to victory over theRomans.
  
• ~249BC - Hamilcar Barca sent to Sicily by Carthage. Hamilcar takes control ofmost of inland Sicily. Hamilcar remained undefeated in Sicily.
  
• 241BC - Battle of the Aegates Islands. Decisive Roman battle that put an end tothe first Punic War.
  

After Rome defeated Carthage, Hamilcar became worried about the Cartheginian wayof life. He knew that once a society submitted to Roman law they were assimilated. Hamilcar feared losing the Cartheginian way oflife.

Being an extreme patriot, Hamilcar traveled to Hispania in 236BC to found a new base for him to build his military might. The plan was to build an army inSpain, hopefully hidden from Roman eyes (at least for a bit), and invade Italy, waging war against the hated Romans. With the Romans out of the picture, Carthage was free to continue being Carthage.

Before Hamilcar was able to exact his revenge on Rome, he was killed by Spanish rebels in 228BC. Before his death, Hamilcar had his son Hannibal make a vow to never be a friend to Rome. Supposedly Hannibal replies, ""I swear so soon asage will permit...I will use fire and steel to arrest the destiny of Rome."

In 219 BC Hannibal invaded Saguntum, a Roman protected city in Spain. This started the Second Punic Wars.

Hannibal was so successful at fighting the Romans that they eventually stopped fighting him. Instead of engaging him, they would use Fabian Tactics.

Fabian tactics are essential `harrasment' of the enemy, but keeping him at bay.
Quintus Fabius Maximus created Fabian Tactics. However, he never won a major victory over Hannibal, so the Roman senate removed him from command. His successor lead Rome to their biggest defeat in history at the Battle of Cannae.

At the Battle of Cannae the Romans brought:

• 75,000 heavy infantry
• 20,000 light infantry
• 5,000 cavalry
  

Hannibal brought:

• 30,000 heavy infantry
• 6,000 light infantry
• 8,000 cavalry
  

Approximately 50-60 thousand Romans died. Hannibal lost 16,700 men. One of the effects of this loss was Rome in total chaos. This put the `fear of Hannibal' intoevery Roman's mind. He became the ubiquitous `boogey-man' of the Romans.

Eventually Hannibal is defeated in Africa by Scipio Africanus. The last page in Carthage's history is Scipio's grand son, Scipio Aemilianus, attacking Carthage. The hatred forCarthage and the Barca family name is so intense that the entire city is razed. Roman soldiers went from house to house, slaughtering the people of Carthage and enslaving any who survived.

So, Hamilcar Barca's quest for maintaining the Carthegenian way of life actually ends up being the reason of Carthage's ultimate destruction. Thats tragic.

From the "Offensive Email Jokes Folder"

I get a lot of junk in my email at the office. Some of the junk includes funny pictures and not so funny jokes. However, the joke below really had me chuckling. Warning - you may find this offensive.

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad,what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father thought for moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?! "

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then wentback to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on Three Million Dollars..............but Realistically,......... we're living with two sluts and a queer."

Good bye Skipper

An annual tradition for me and some of the guys in the office is to head to Biloxi for deep-sea fishing. Show up at Biloxi Friday night, drink, eat, be merry. Wake up early in the A.M., hop on a boat and drop lines by the oil rigs. Well, Biloxi was destroyed by Katrina.

A friend of mine sent me a picture of the marina that harbored "The Skipper", the boat we used to fish on. I've posted the pictures below of the marina, or rather what is left of it. Notice the casket in one of the pictures. You really have no idea of the devestation unless you've witnessed it first hand.

Our last trip was actually on the Gabriella. I hope they got her out in time.

Here's to good times...

Sell Your Organs Today

I normally ignore spam, but this one had a funny title - Sell Your Organs Today

I'm interested, so I read. Turns out this guy didn't want my organs, he wanted my kid's lungs. And if I wasn't interested in selling their lungs, he would take kiddy porn. I've pasted the mail below and highlighted it yellow.

Hello there,
If you want to make some good cash selling some XXX horny pics of your children or sell their lungs reply to this email and get a check overnight.
You will receive cashiers check to get cash right away.

Besides the disturbed feeling I experienced after reading the spam, a thought did cross my mind. Why is it illegal for me to sell my organs? What if I wanted to sell a kidney. I believe that kidney transplants are in the most demand. I have two kidneys, I ought to be able to sell one of them if I choose.

It is not unusual to live life with one kidney. It ought to be my choice, as to whether or not I sell my kidneys. Moving kidneys to the open market would certainly lessen the demand to some extent. Would it be the end of kidney waiting lists, well no. But it would help.

Lan Party!

Taking a break from political discourse on the blog, I had a lan party. What's a lan party? A lan party is where some friends bringtheir PC's over and you pwn them in deathmatch. Well, pwning them indeathmatch isn't a necessity, but is usually the end result.

I've taken some pictures of interesting things. First, one of theguys who attended actually had a car tag that read `PWNAGE'. Nice:). Second, is a nice tank-top that was on display - "You've been pwned." Finally a group shot of the guys who attended.

Overall the day was exciting, lots of food, lots of laughs and plentyof pwnage. We played UT04, Serious Sam - The Second Encounter andFEAR.

In the group picture below, the guy with the `cocked' head below is one of the pwned. He suffers from `pwned-too-muchius', which occurs when you get pwned repeatedly.

Think there is a market for these?











Man, I missed my chance at this tag!











The pwner and the pwned!

Job Offer in Japan

One of the commenters mentioned having an affinity for Japan. I got this nice email that involved Japan:


I am looking to hire a Sr. Python Developer ASAP- This is for work we are currently doing in Tokyo, JPN. The position can be contract (preferred) or direct hire (if the fit is great) - Expenses are paid for. Contract duration would be around 5 months (no benefits) - Are you interested? You must be able to work in Tokyo for the duration of the project.If you are, please send me your resume/rate and let's chat ASAP.


Well, I'm from Mississippi and have NO desire to leave. I just thought this offer was interesting. Nice thing about being in Japan though, is that i'd be really tall.

I remember hearing stories about the Japanese obsession with height. That they used to break their legs intentionally, because when the bones repaired themselves, they would lengthen just a bit. The idea is that you break your legs repeatedly in order to grow over time.

About WMD Intelligence

I really do not want to turn this into a political ranting blog. Those are boring. But, with all the talk about WMDs and lieing presidents, I thought this report would be interesting to some of y'all.

The aforementioned report is an inverview with Bill Tierney, an inspector for the United Nations Special Commission (UNSCOM) for overseeing the elimination of weapons of mass destruction and ballistic missiles in Iraq. Let me bullet a couple of interesting things he said.

• UNSCOM could pursue a lead and approach an inspection target from various angles to cut off an escape route, but at some point, the Iraqis would hold up their guns and keep us out.
• There was no question that Iraq had triggering mechanisms for a nuke, the question was whether they had enriched enough uranium.
• A local technician stood by while we opened a computer and found a flight simulation for a missile taking off from the Iraqi desert in the same area used during the First Gulf War and flying west towards Israel.
• After seventeen resolutions pleading with the Iraqis to be nice, the light bulb still didn’t go off that the entire concept is fundamentally flawed.
• Maybe the problem was giving a mission that entailed the possible use of force to an organization with the goal of eliminating the use of force

Interesting read. Enjoy!

Pictures that make me proud

Below are pictures that make me swell with American pride. God bless the USA.

Time Magazine got something right...




















Thanks guys!













Thanks for making a sacrifice.

















Don't even think about burning this.

From The "Jobs I'd Like To Have Folder"

One thing that all men have in common (ahhem real men), is that we love power equipment: Dozers, Back-hoes, Track-hoes, dump trucks, etc. If it moves earth, we love it.

Stuck in traffic yesterday, I saw my dream job - "Destroying buildings with a track-hoe." This job has everything a man could want - solitude, destruction, heavy equipment and whatever music you'd like to destroy things to.

Thinking about how great it would be to have the track-hoe operator's job steered my thoughts into another direction - cool jobs for a guy to have. I've listed some of the jobs that all men would love to have, in no particluar order.

* Blue Angels Pilot
* Jet Fighter Pilot
* Special Forces
* The President :)
* Nascar Driver
* Astronaut
* Bulldozer Operator

I'm sure I can dream up more, but that's the first-in-three-minutes list. I took a picture of the track-hoe destroying a building. I also got a picture of geese in our parking lot. Not sure what relevance the latter picture has, but it was just odd seeing geese in our parking lot.

Hope you enjoy!

Pride - Good / Bad / Ugly?

A friend from New Zealand commented to me that she did not like Americans. Which was striking to me because I'm an American. I was not born in the states, but became naturalized at 18. When I was naturalized it was really a means to an end. I needed a way to get a passport easily. In retrospect, I find my naturalization to be one of the finest moments in my life -- I love America.

Back to the friend. She made an extremely uncharacteristic remark (or perhaps I think too much of her), "Americans suck...". She's made jabs at America before, but I typically take them in stride. But everyone has an envelope, and she had certainly pushed beyond it.

In a slow, calm-yourself down, measured typing pace, I ask her to please refrain from insulting America. Next, I query her, "Why?" She replied that "she did not know." She stated that she fealt that Americans were arrogant and proud. I asked her why she thought this, and she wasn't quite sure. Well, I can't debate a feeling, so the conversation became stagnant.

I mentioned to her that I did not think that pride was a bad trait. The first instance of acceptable pride that comes to my mind, is the pride you have after you have accomplished something in your life. For instance, when I graduated from the University of Southern Mississippi, I was very proud. It was quite an accomplishment considering my family's blue collar roots. (Dad drives a truck - Mom is a desk jockey for a corporation [but not quite white-collar].)

The friend mentioned that she believed pride to be a bad characteristic. I have two opinions about pride being bad.

Opinion one is that unreasonable or inordinate pride is certainly a bad trait. This is inline with Plato's belief in moderation. Moderation is a good thing, however I believe that everyone should dream big or not at all. So, I certainly agree that an extreme amount of pride is bad. +1 for her argument.

Opinion two is that she believes people should not be proud, because those who have not accomplished will be offended. For instance, I should not be openly proud of my college degree because someone who has not graduated from college will feel inferior or offended. Opinion two really bothers me.

Too much effort is spent in America to NOT offend people. Euphamisms such as obese and overweight are used in place of fat. Why is fat offensive? Probably because it usually demonstrates a lack of discipline. As a matter of fact, this is usually the case. Please don't throw the `thyroid disorder' excuse at me. It is estimated that less than 1% of the population suffers from obesity because of thyroid problems.

Ok, everyone tread lightly in the states and don't offend your fat friends ;).

Peering into the male mind -- Male Bonding

I told a lady the other day that the more fond one man is of another the more apt he is to insult his friend. For instance, yesterday while playing Guild Wars, I mentioned to some of the members in our guild that one of the members was a woman. He's not.

I tell that buddy of mine this over lunch. He calls me an ass, and we have a good laugh. That is friendship.

Now, compare and contrast this to someone for which you are not fond. You would never call this person an ass, but you would certainly think it.

So, a sneak-peak into male-bonding tells everyone that the more guys like each other, the `meaner' they are to one another.

*nix Fortunes

If any of y'all have ever used `fortune' on a linux/unix/*nix machine, you've probably cracked more than a smile or two reading the `fortunes.' Today I thought I'd share one with you that actually made me lol.

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers
in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and
was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy
fog, so the Captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported,
"Light, bearing on the starboard bow."
"Is it steady or moving astern?" the Captain called out.
Lookout replied, "Steady, Captain," which meant we were on a dangerous
collision course with that ship.
The Captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on
a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees."
Back came a signal "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees."
In reply, the Captain said, "Send: I'm a Captain, change course 20
degrees!"
"I'm a seaman second class," came the reply, "You had better change
course 20 degrees."
By that time, the Captain was furious. He spit out, "Send: I'm a
battleship, change course 20 degrees."
Back came the flashing light: "I'm a lighthouse!"
We changed course.
-- The Naval Institute's "Proceedings"

1/15th of the way there

November marks the first full year of paying the mortgage. The mortgate is still a strange feeling for me. I still have strong memories of my youth -- the road trip to tampa where dookie slept drunk on a bus-stop bench. The trips to Cash's in Ft. Walton Beach Florida -- home of the wet t-shirt contest that involved neither a t-shirt nor water.

But, here I am, 31 and with a mortgage. The word mortgage seems to reek of you're an adult now and your youth is gone. And to think I still have 14 more years to go. (Actually the plan is to pay the house off faster than that ;).

Well, here's to youth wasted! To celebrate my squandered youth and my 1/15th of the way there milestone, I've posted some pictures of the house. Enjoy!

These pictures are before and after snapshots of the living room.





This is the kitchen. My favorite place in the house!


Finally, the front of the house. These pictures are `right after construction'.

Learning to Fly

It's Saturday afternoon and I'm hoeing the flowerbeds. My brother-in-law, Kevin, shows up with his newest toy - a remote control airplane.

Kevin's Plane Particulars:

• Electric Powered
• 36"-42" wingspan (guesstimate)
• 36" long.

Kevin is beaming with pride as he showcases his new toy. Kevin tells me, "Come on, lets fly it." Sounds like a good idea to me, so we head out to the front yard. Kevin makes a couple of circles in the yard and asks, "How would you like to fly it?"

That sly smile creeps onto my face. And before I have time to ponder the question, I blurt out, "Yeah!"

So, Kevin gives me the basics and explains to me about his failures and how I should expect the same disastrous results. My ego says, "Yeah whatever. You just didn't know what in the hell you're doing." Unfortunately, my brain wasn't there to reply, "Neither do you."

So, I grab the remote control and start flying. Amazingly I make a nice slow loop around the yard (I have a *very* big yard -- think field). I'm prepared to turn the plane back torwards myself and Kevin.

Out of thin air, a small red, horned creature wielding a pitch fork appears on my shoulder. Before I have time to swat him away, he uses my mouth to say, "Kevin run."

At this point, I'm part of the nefarious plan -- Hit Kevin with his own plane! Excited, I begin to yaw the plane right. Hmm, my bearings are off, I need to yaw right, hard. With "Highway to the Danger Zone" playing in my mind, I yaw right hard!

Unfortnately, the hard turn has caused the plane to begin a dive. A STEEP FAST dive. The plane is headed directly torward the ground. There is no recovery.

Bam. The plane runs into the ground. It is perpendicular to the ground when it hits. That is the fuselage and the ground form a 90 degree angle.

Unfortunately, Kevin's plane wasn't engineered to handle this kind of stress. The right wing snapped off upon impact. I went from a "I'm maverick, kevin is goose" feeling to "I'm goose and I just died".

After a good laugh, Kevin said forget about it and was able to glue his wing back into place. Anyway, you can witness the devestation yourself. See the picture below.

Ipod Ship Has Landed

OK, the free ipod has made it. Check out the picture below. This is the 30gb video-ipod. Sweet stuff. Now if I can only figure out how to rip a dvd to my ipod...

Your Tax Dollars At Work

A stumbled across an article describing what your congressman are doing with their "member representational account (MRAs), which pays the salaries of 18 full-time aides, travel, mass mailings, leased cars, bottled water, coffee and everything else a modern office needs."

Without further ado, lets examine your tax dollars at work:

• David Dreier (R-Calif.) - Over $5700 for plasma television.
• David Dreier (R-Calif.) - $1,338 on new rugs
• Mark Souder (R-Ind.) - Over $5700 for plasma television.
• John Murtha (D-Pa.) - Over $5700 for plasma television.

Well, there is even a congressman that uses his MRA account to purchase TiVO, so he can record himself. See the article for the gritty details.

Rhapsody is pretty slick

In my quest for a free ipod. I signed up for Rhapsody.

I originally thought, "I'll sign up, wait for my offer to be approved, and cancel." However, I'm enjoying Rhapsody's content so much that I won't be cancelling my subscription.

Rhapsody allows you to search for music by artist or title. And they have a huge selection. There have only been a few titles I could not find. Most notably Creed.

I hate to sound like a fan-boy, but you ought to try this service. It's amazing.

Happy Belated Halloween

I've been somewhat busy with Halloween and the various fall activies. I dressed up as the scariest thing my little brain could conjure up ... The Congressman.

The picture of me and my littlest one are to the left. Overall, Halloween turned out to be a pretty good event. Because it was on a Monday, not many houses were lit up. Plus, our little town is boring at times. Or maybe it was because Halloween is considered `bad' by some folks down here.

Yes, I actually ran into one of those Halloween is for Satan people. Let me set the stage - Home Depot on a Saturday afternoon. Wifey and I rolled into home depot to grab some left over `hurricane food' that was drastically reduced (I hope I avoid food poisoning). I see an old friend I hadn't seen in some time. My friend had his boy with him. His child was around 3 years old. The boy was very excited and explaining to me about his love of Spiderman and Batman:

Boy: I love Spiderman and Batman! [Strikes superhero pose]
Me: Really? Thats cool, me too. Will you be dressing up as one of them for Halloween.
Boy: No, Halloween is bad.
Me: Oh.
Boy: Do ya'll do Halloween?
Me: Well, sometimes. Maybe not this year because it is during the week. [White lie to prevent `rubbing boys face in it']
Boy: Yeah, God doesn't like people who do Halloween. Me: Ummm. Ok. Anyway, I hope I haven't angered God this year! The sign hanging from the neck reads:

CONGRESSMAN
____________
(fill in the blank)